I had not planned on coming back. My life was focused in one direction, the United States, and beginning a life in Colorado, closer to family and with my fiancé, transported to the United States from Ukraine via an 18-month stop in Norway. But you know what they say about plans….. Okay, if you don’t, it is this: life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. It’s true.

As the half in the relationship with freedom of movement, one month after our United States visa request for Serhii to travel to America was canceled by the government, I found myself on a plane back to Norway.

I arrived wondering if it would be weird to return when I hadn’t planned to, but when my plane touched down in Bergen, instead, a very unexpected question arose: had I even left?

There I was, back in Bergen. Back to continuous grocery trips. Back to the world of Norwegain speakers. Back to aiming to use my days wisely and towards something while at the same time being unable to truly invest in Norway with my status as a “tourist”. Back to delicious bread. Back to being a foreigner.

But what also struck me is that I had felt the same sense of never having left Colorado when I returned in late November. Back to the resumption of my United States life, right where I left off last July.

It is a confusing feeling to lead two separate lives. One starts, and then 90 days later, a pause button is pressed and everything freezes until I return, when play is pressed again. And then repeat. But though my life feels separated by two locations, there is a continuous flow of energy that is immune to the pause and play buttons, and that is the ongoing change happening inside of me. This change transcends geography and is the only reminder that I lead but one life. Because the Kate from fall in Norway is not the same Kate 90 days later upon her return. You see, winter in Colorado changed everything…