Borsch, the Ukrainian staple. A hearty stew, whoops, here’s a tip: never call it a stew if a Ukrainian is in earshot. I made that mistake once and was quickly corrected: It is not a soup; it is not a stew; it is borsch! Okay, so it is a hearty liquid meal with a tomato and water base (come on, it’s a stew!), potatoes, onions, carrots, garlic, spices, and meat, often chicken. If made properly, and I am sure it is always made properly and with great pride, it takes hours to perfect. There are no shortcuts, not even bullion cubes. It is made 100% from scratch. Borsch is often eaten with bread, raw garlic, and a kind of pork belly. Picture like a slab of bacon that is not cut into pieces or cooked. Anyway, let’s focus more on the raw garlic part because, for me, this is wilder than eating raw pork. Picture this: you take the piece of bread and on top put a giant piece of raw garlic, a size so large that you never thought it possible to consume in one bite, then on top of that, you place a chunk of pork. Back and forth you go from spoonfuls of borsch to the bread extravaganza, the flavors of each playing off of each other. Though you pay a steep price for consuming that much raw garlic, it is an incredibly tasty, satisfying, and nourishing meal.

Last fall, we went to the grocery store, and fresh baguettes were on sale. When we got home, I warmed up leftover borsch and cut up pieces of baguette to have with it. When Serhii saw what I had done, he looked at the table like I had put a lamb’s head on it and said in shock: What are you doing? I was completely confused and said I thought we could have the fresh baguette with our borsch. He responded with: A baguette is not bread, a baguette is a baguette! You can’t eat a baguette with borsch! I immediately started laughing. What do you mean a baguette is not bread? It is bread! How can a baguette not be bread?! But there was no changing that borsch-forged Ukrainian mind.

A few weeks ago, I made huevos rancheros for Serhii, one of my favorite breakfasts. I have to make some compromises because corn tortillas don’t exist in Norway, only flour and a potato-based tortilla that they actually use to wrap around grilled meats. They also don’t have any delicious green or red chilli, so I have to substitute regular salsa. It is passable, and Serhii was impressed with the sight of it. Instead of sitting down, though, he went into the kitchen and began cutting up bread. I saw what he was doing and responded with: What are you doing?! You don’t eat bread with huevos rancheros! The tortillas are the bread. This combo made my head hurt. My prized meal, delicious huevos rancheros with… BREAD?! Then, the record screeched to a halt, and I flashed back to the borsch/bagette fiasco and realized with a smile on my face and a renewed clarity that there truly are some customs you just don’t mess with.